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4 Aug

Revealed: The emotional lifecycle of house buying

In the market for a house? If so, you’re about to experience the emotional lifecycle of house buying. Yes - it’s a thing.

Let’s hope you’re not already at stage 4!

Revealed: The emotional lifecycle of house buying

The emotional lifecycle of house buying (in a seller's market)

When the market is hot like it is now, it's hard work buying a house. But the thing I've noticed is that most people go through the same stages. So you're not the only one feeling the pain!

But it doesn't really need to be so hard.

If you understand the lifecycle, maybe you can see a way to break out of it.

You know the old saying - forewarned is forearmed.

So here they are - the four stages of the house buying lifecycle:

1. Just looking thanks.

Emotional state: Curious

  • You're getting a feeling for the market
  • Deciding on your preferred location, budget and house specs
  • You're seeing houses selling and prices rising
  • You decide it's time to get in on the action before it's too late!

2. Shit - We'd better get in there!

Emotional state: Eager

  • Pretty soon you find the perfect house
  • You get all your ducks in a row - finance, builders reports, Lim
  • You go to your first auction as a serious buyer - nervous as hell. Have you seen enough houses? How much is too much?
  • Bidding goes crazy. You reach your maximum
  • The hammer goes down. You miss out by a few grand. Bummer (but you think they paid too much).

3. Right! This time, we're buying.

Emotional state: Determined

  • Now you have a serious case of FOMO (fear of missing out)
  • This time, you're more determined
  • You spend another grand on due diligence
  • You bid harder. This time, you're willing to pay more.
  • But how much more? You chicken out, the hammer goes down and you loose once more.
  • Repeat 2-5 times.

4. Buy or Die!

Emotional state: Wrecked

  • Now you're a wreck. You need to get a house for your emotional wellbeing
  • Come hell or high water - this time, you're going to win the auction
  • You keep bidding, you're at your limit. But you have to keep going


  • You win! Thank goodness for that.
  • You tell yourself the house you've just bought is better than the others you've missed out on. Really. It is.


  • You can't do it. You give up.
  • Time to re-group

Ring any bells? What stage are you at?

The key thing to remember is that everyone's on this cycle. So there are people ahead of you (more desperate) and people behind you (less desperate).

The question is - what are you going to do about it?

Rodney Fong is a Licensed Salesperson and Auctioneer working with clients throughout Tauranga, Mt Maunganui and Papamoa.

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